A surprising number of people ask me how Gloucester is. I often wonder if they think it’s a mysterious place full of couragous fishermen and lunch breaks at the beach. I hate to break it to you, but there isn’t usually much to report; they knocked down Bill’s Pub, the Green Tavern is being converted to an Elk’s lodge, there was a particularly steamy pile of shit left by a fiber deprived canine on the sidewalk this morning. You know, regular old townie news.

When Gloucester make news, boy does it make news. Some of the latest news to come out of America’s oldest seaport involves a black eye, a frozen ham, and zany antics. You may remember the battle of the bulge from a few months back involving a lifetime of glazed donuts, bruised egos, and rotund officers. This, dear readers, is what makes my daily ride worth it. Sure the lines are long in the morning at the Liquor Locker, but it’s great to get out of the city during the day. It’s a strange relationship I have with this town; a part of me wants to openly laugh at this bizarre little world that exists at the end of 128, and part of me likes eating lunch on the back porch and smelling the salt water come through the windows However, I don’t think I would make it too long living here. I’ve become too accustomed to city living, and even though I would travel a shorter distance to work, I would be forced to become car dependent again.

who NOT to steal frozen meat from…

Joe Scola